A huge thank you to the good people at Cannon Poets for publishing this piece in their Quarterly 'Cannon's Mouth'. X
It has come to our attention that a significant period has lapsed since you reconciled your balance. We would like to rectify this as soon as possible. As you are a valued customer, we have provided a temporary overdraft and are wavering the daily charges to date if a deposit is made within the next 7 days to balance the account. Please see enclosed documents outlining the Terms and Conditions on this Agreement.
We advise that you contact us as soon as possible re: payment plans and we will ensure that your records are updated and any necessary amendments made.
It has come to your friends' attention that you have not corresponded with them recently. They have enquired amongst each other as to whether their texts have been received or if they are somewhere out there floating in the great ether of digital communication. Their calls too have not been returned. Enquiries have been made as to whether there has been a change of number, a late payment on the bill, a temporary freeze, or a malfunction in connection.
We advise that you contact your close friends and associates as soon as possible to alleviate their deepening concerns.
It has come to your employers' attention that your punctuality seems to be slipping and your general demeanour in Work is withdrawn and unresponsive. Due attention has also been paid to the large quantity of sick days you have taken in the past annum. Additionally, all annual leave time has been taken within a few months of the start of tax year and according to our records there have been erroneous additional days taken in TOIL as they have far exceeded the records of overtime from previous dates. Further to this, we are concerned about the amount of applications you have submitted for leave days on compassionate grounds - in fact we feel duty bound to enquire whether you have any friends, relatives, partners, ex-partners or close acquaintances left?
We advise that you please contact HR as a matter of urgency to discuss disciplinary options from this point.
Many Thanks ...
It has come to your extended network's attention that you have not visited social networking sites in quite some time. As a generally active user your abrupt lack of connection has been duly noted. The previous continuous stream-of-consciousness narrative of the inner machinations of your mind shared readily on Status Updates have ceased. Further to this, the YouTube links to obscure tracks with clouded vocals on fuzzed recordings that were submitted on a weekly basis have come to a halt.
We advise that you reactivate your account asap for continued contact and to keep in touch with friends and relatives around the globe. We are also currently providing a number of applications, groups and fan pages that are likely to be of interest.
If you have any questions or enquiries please do not hesitate to contact.
It has come to your Mother's attention that your visits have become very infrequent, replaced solely it would appear with occasional abrupt calls between one 'meeting' and another 'conference'. She has reported your dialogue as 'evasive and vague' and the general reception as 'disengaged'.
We advise that you call your Mother at your earliest convenience to organise a visit or excursion. We feel this would be very beneficial and can share numerous Research Papers that confirm that familial bonds are a key part to personal development at all stages.
It has come to our attention that there is a soul who is deeply concerned instinctively (for we are all insightful sixth-sensers when it comes to the ones we love) They expressed concerns about demonstrating their affection for you as you have reportedly recently separated.
We advise you. Actually we don't know what to advise with this one.
Yours Faithfully, Best Wishes, Thanks, in fact Many Thanks, Kind Regards,
Ties That Bind.